Uncertainty – Scary yet Exciting

Few people dare venture into the world of uncertainty, especially when their current position is pretty secure – howsoever unsatisfying it may be, but security brings peace of mind. A mere deep rooted desire seems inadequate to stir a man free of the clutches he himself has grown around him. So many people around me, working tirelessly for a livelihood, don’t want to do what they are doing. But they don’t know what they want to do either, so they will continue till the end of their lives. And they are fairly safe. Unsatisfied they may be, they will always have the money to meet their ends. A passionate man, someone who wants to do something else and knows what it is, is a danger to himself. He might ruin himself in his pursuit of happiness. Worse if he only knows what he wants but not how he will achieve that.

There is a very thin line between a practical approach and a negative one. Negative thoughts are much more devastatingly powerful than positive ones. You have to make efforts to push good thoughts in, and more efforts to keep them there. Negative ones will always find their own ways inside through various routes you don’t even know exist. So when you decide to follow something you love, and there is a sacrifice involved – a big one like your current job, you tend to slip in and out of water frequently, drowning one moment and breathing the other. And if there is a family to support, you are bound to fall into the waters again and again.

Yet there are people who forcefully move ahead in the direction of their dreams. Leaving everything aside. Full with hopes and optimism. Keeping no backups. They don’t think backups are required – they believe they have no options. Only a single point to focus on. I often wonder whether they are made that way. Is this doggedness a constituent of their being? Whether acquiring these traits is at all possible if you don’t naturally feel that strong, but want to be.

We come across so many people who are making it big in the fields of their choice everyday. Everyone has his own story. The story of disappointments and triumphs. Many of them started from scratch to reach the tops and were not even known before they hit the height. Yet their lives have gone into reaching that line of vision. That final step brought them to our notice, the thousands before would have gone unnoticed if that one final step had not been taken. And there are many who fall from just below the pinnacle.

Considering the risks involved, is it advisable at all to go for something that uncertain? Why do books all around keep pushing us to try and reach our dreams? There is a certain excitement in doing what you love, I know. The excitement you have long forgotten. It was there when you were a child. You did things only when they excited you. Remember running around in muddy water under heavy rain playing football barefooted, or dancing behind closed doors to you favourite dance number? Cartoon shows, comic books, movies, taking cold showers, lying idle, early morning cricket, late night gossips, unexpected holidays from school, summer vacations. There was so much of action. We lived life. We had good days as well as bad. We reached highs as well as lows. But we never had dearth of excitement.

Monotony does more harm than we can think, unless that is what we love. Uncertainty has a kind of adventurous quality about it. I read it somewhere that we all fail in life at one point or the other; it’s better if we fail while pursuing something we love, we’ll still be a step closer and a notch happier.

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Anonymity Gives You Freedom

Does anonymity give you more freedom in expressing your true thoughts? The thoughts you actually hear tapping the insides of your scull. I think yes. For long I have been wanting to write about a few subjects that stir me inside, but since they are either too bold or too personal to reveal, I don’t go ahead. Which means I have consciously put a filter right at the place where creativity originates. In the end, it only leaves out the ideas that are safe to share, and non-controversial. But that is not how imagination prospers. Things offend others all the time, so if there is something you truly believe in, don’t worry, give it words. If you have trouble doing that, going anonymous will help immensely.

I have seen people judging others after reading a piece of their writing. Now that happens a lot if  your readers are the people you know in real life, and you write a lot about your personal life. Unless you put a lot of checks in place, you run the risk of divulging something that you ought not to. And I am especially referring to the people new in the world of blogging. This breed of writers is always cautious of their image, and thus produces a work less than their true potential promises because of so many fear-filters.

I am not promoting anonymity if you can write without being troubled by what others would think of you. If you can do that the debate is over. People not afraid of anything while bringing forth the ideas they think are the best, irrespective of their social worth, are doing justice to the art of writing. But if you have to hide some and show some to be able to come up with something – best go anonymous and show it all. And original ideas take courage to be brought out in the open. They are often first met with resistance and loathing. So be courageous and write your heart out. Choose any of the ways but don’t hold anything inside. If it makes a good work of writing, it will be liked, howsoever bold it might be.

Simplifying Life

The days of confusion and haziness are kind of over now. I have always believed it is easier to think about retiring than actually doing it. The moment I think of leaving the pleasures that a job brings, I would freeze with dread. The investments would stop, extravagance will have no chance, days will go back to where I used to think how much do I have before entering a shop, frugality will decide which are needs and which ones are just plain, avoidable desires. But then, life will be much simpler, no more daily commute to office, no slavery of the clients, no feelings of depression on Sundays. I just want to do what I like, whether it is going to make me rich, or a more likely pauper. Anyway, I have always felt that deep down I have never been inclined towards getting more. Having less but enough has brought about all the peace that I need to sleep at night. And fortunately I have just about enough to sustain.

Simplicity has always attracted me – in people as well as life. I immediately feel incongruous at a party if not surrounded by the people I like. I like having food at home than dining at a famous restaurant. I have a very small circle of friends. In fact it can’t really be called a circle. I have innumerable acquaintances, just like everyone else, but the people I can call friends – not many. And, I am happy. I know they will always stand by me. Help me.

Everyday at office, I encounter a dwindling focus on work. I used to be good at my work. I had the zeal to excel once. But no more. I keep thinking about my days in retirement. The books I will read – and a lot of them are in line. The topics I will write on. The things I will do. I don’t have any high expectations from life.

I want lesser number of people to say hello to, contact list in my phone to be small, no rush while having breakfast, or doing exercise. Not many things to deal with, for which I have to maintain a list everyday. No meetings to keep track of. No team to look after.

This still is a dream, though the difference is that I am ready now. I am not afraid any more. I don’t want to earn just for the sake of it. I will find something of my interest to do. Will educate myself in the field I love, not the one that fetches the biggest pay cheque. Will enhance my health to the highest levels. Keep my loved ones close by.